a blog by J.M. Cottle
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When I was a kid, I used to think…

  1. …that the wind was the trees breathing.
  2. …that people got pregnant through excessive kissing. (Yeah. I thought this until I was fifteen.)
  3. …that people’s faces were held together by horizontal seams on the insides of our mouths. (Turns out that I have always chewed on the inside of my mouth while I sleep, and my “seams” are scar tissue. Nice.)
  4. …that country music was the only kind of music that wouldn’t get me in trouble with God.
  5. …that the world always existed, with no beginning. (I may still think that.)
  6. …that boys liked girls, and girls liked boys, and that was that, and that I was the only person who was exempt from this “liking” situation because I wasn’t a boy or a girl.
  7. …that sneakers were the only shoes.
  8. …that Johnson’s Baby Shampoo was the only shampoo. (No More Tears.)
  9. …that writing came easily to everyone, and that everyone loved it.
  10. …that all books were written a long time ago and that all the authors had already died. (The day I realized there were people writing books right now, and that I could be one of them, was a glorious day.)
  11. …that only the very best writers got published — since writing came easily to everyone — so I didn’t stand a chance.

I wonder… In another couple of decades, what will go on the list of things I used to think when I was in my twenties?

5 Responses to When I was a kid, I used to think…

  1. Love this list. A couple of my own to add:

    …that, once my brother died, I would have only 1.5 years left to live, because he was 1.5 years older than me.

    …that old movies were in black and white because God had invented color back then.

  2. Remember how we used Johnson’s Baby Shampoo until we were like teenagers? Because every other kind of shampoo goes immediately into your eyes, ruining your vision forever.

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